Lovers and loveless and clueless

Hello Lover!

I say that because I have a lot to cover and very much like “Sex in the City” I am sitting here in my tank top and boy shorts typing away about my life to strangers. My way is more comfortable I’m in my bed pillows all around me and I couldn’t think of another place I’d rather be. So, let’s dish some dirt shall we?

1.       The Go for it clause:

If you can look beyond a person’s flaws and think “wow this guy really likes me”, go for it. Take the chance, dive from the top of the cliff and fall ever happily ever after in love. Dream the dream ladies and gents go the distance; however, if that little voice inside your head says this may be too good to be true, take heed and don’t beat yourself up over it. Your heart was in the right place, his was not. And you are beautiful and destined for greatness and all the love in the world. It may not come in the form you wish, but go easy on your heart, she’s taken a beating but each and every day she keeps you going. Feel it, love it, live it. Love life and enjoy whatever the little things are and the big things, All the things you over look. Slow dance. Hold hands. And appreciate those people who have never turned their back on you. Trust and then love, for you can always love the one you trust, but cannot always trust the one you love.

2.       The Heart:

Time heals nothing. Old love scars and bitter hearts are molding and breaking and trying to survive. We learn to live without people just as we learn to live with new people. If they’re not in your life anymore, either you made that bold brave move or they did it for you and you no matter how lonely you get are better off without them. You are more than you could ever imagine. Let your heart heal, let your heart mend, scars remain but they are reminders of who you were and where you’ve come from. They are showing you the right direction of where you want to be.

3.       Homeless men:

I know it sounds crazy but if you’re in the need for a date desperately, consider a homeless man. Shop Good will clothes, a hot LONG shower with soap and shampoo and he’s cleaned up and ready to impress.  Make sure he doesn’t want to live with you though. And obviously ladies or gentlemen this date is obviously on you. Last I checked the rule “who ever paid gets laid” is not longer an official dating rule. This all depends on the players I assume. (Yes, a homeless  man asked if he could live with me in exchange he would be my boyfriend if it was necessary… how thoughtful.)

4.       The storm:

I run from it. I hide from it. Until I have to face it. Sadly, no matter how many times I change my hair, buy new clothes, new makeup, and road trip, and get away, avoiding sleep. Not a single thing can keep me from my own demons. The storm is coming and it’s a battle I face every day. When you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes you.  You’ve got to deal with your demons before your demons deal with you. Stand up and face them. No amount of running can make your problems go away and there isn’t a hairstyle in the world that can change your entire outlook on life.

5.       Struggle:

It’s going to happen, rise above or sink below. Sometimes you’re a swan perfect on the open water. Everyone envies you, everyone loves you and they don’t see how much you struggle and kick your feet under the water to get around to survive and to keep on going. Hold on to that fight in you. Paddle furiously underneath, because sometimes you have to make it all alone.

 

6.       Emtpy:

Have you ever felt completely alone in a room full of people and yet found solace in an empty room? Can you stand the thoughts inside your head long enough to be alone or do you need that room of people to distract you? I’ve never felt more alone than the day I stood in a room full of my friends.

7.       Why not me? What’s wrong with me?

I am constantly battling with the idea that something is wrong with me.  For instance, in all my life and sexual experience (which is limited believe or not) I have only offered to have sex with two people that I was not completely crushing mad head over heels thought I’d be with them forever relationship. Both of them turned me down. And though by no fault of their own I somehow blame myself or think that I wasn’t good enough. I need to stop my labeling. I need to realize that some people want skittles and some people want M&M’s and I’m Rainbow Twizzlers. I’m just not made for everyone; I don’t fit the mold “everyone’s type”. So why do I beat myself up when I’m turned down? Is it because I’ve been forced to believe that I should fit into the man created sexy image? Maybe it is, and I know it gets to us when we see it plastered all over magazines, books, and movies and even in art. But what does beauty define? Who decides what is beautiful? We do, we set the trends, we compare ourselves, let’s stop it. Who defines beauty, we do because we are.

 

A man will lie to your face when he is himself, give him a mask and he’ll tell you everything you want to know. Which masks are you wearing and which ones do you need to remove

Great insight and brutally honest!

I’ve realized here lately that older men are great resources to the way men think. They don’t sugar coat anything, I know two especially that are in my life (through work) and love to give me insight into other men. They have both been in the military; both paid their dues (by getting married and having kids) and have lived the rest of their lives single and dating. Here’s what they shared with me:

1.       Men don’t want women who are always thinking of the future. Live in the now. Translation: “All of you girls who have your wedding planned out; keep it to yourself. Men don’t want to hear how you have planned their entire lives for them. Chances are they haven’t thought about what they’re going to eat in two hours let alone what the names of all the future children will be and what colors you think compliment your eyes for the center pieces on the tables.”

2.       We do guy stuff; we have time when it’s just us and our friends. Translation: “When I’m with my guy friends, don’t text me and call me a million times. Either I’m not going to answer or I’m not going to say what you want me to say, I’m with my friends, find your own and do something!”

3.       I like things the way I like them; I don’t want anyone to mess that up. Translation: “My house, my car, my garage my things may be a mess to you but that’s my mess and I’m not asking you or anyone else to fix it. Don’t move my things around, don’t try to organize and just accept it.”

4.       Your sneaky woman tricks don’t work; we know what you’re doing. Translation: “Don’t move your things into my house slowly; keep your shit at your house. If I haven’t invited you to bring a toothbrush then don’t. If I do invite you to bring a toothbrush, that’s all you can bring all that extra stuff in your “get ready” bag isn’t on the list. Take it back home. Also, don’t buy me things to ‘leave at your place, just in case’ I’m not moving in with you either. Don’t try to sneak me into your house by buying all my supplies thinking this will trick me into never leaving you. I’m smarter than that!”

5.       I mean what I say and I say what I mean. I’m upfront with you, it’s not a line it’s the truth. Translation: “When I say I don’t want anything to do with your children, I mean it. I won’t change my mind. If I say I’m not looking for a girlfriend, that’s not a secret code for you can change my mind. If I say I don’t want to spend the night, that isn’t a cue for you to start begging me. You can’t get mad at me later in the relationship, when you realize that I’m not going to marry you, take care of your kids, spend the night or even make you my girlfriend. You were warned early on”

6.       I may be old but I’m not blind. Translation: “We’re men, we are going to look. Don’t take that as we hate you, we think you’re fat or some other crazy woman thought. In reality that girl probably wouldn’t give us the time of day. Just don’t jump down our throat if we’re good to you and only look.”

7.       There’s a time to let go. Translation: “If we went out and you never hear from me again, or I suddenly stop talking to you, let it go. Texting and calling me twenty or more times a day isn’t going to change that. Hell, three times isn’t going to change that. It may be wrong but I’m done and I’m moving on. So should you.  If I’m not replying and you keep trying, you look pathetic and I’m considering loading my gun before bed.”

8.       This ain’t the old days. Translation: “Now a days you women work too. It’s not right we pay all the time. I’m not saying that you just go spend all your money on men all the time. But if we’ve gone out a few times, it’s nice if you offer to pay. I may not let you and maybe I spent a little too much on my truck and will let you. Who knows? The point is, it’s nice of you just to offer, so we know right away whether you just want our wallet or not.”

9.       Let me be a man! Translation:  “If something’s broke let me try to fix it. Don’t tell me how to do it, why to do it or when to do it. I’ll get to it. If I can’t do it, let me talk to a friend. He might be able to do it. Don’t just assume I can’t do anything and call someone. The last resort is calling someone and chances are I have a buddy who can fix it for half price. So let me take care of that. Stepping on my man toes only pisses me off. Then I’ll never offer to help you again.”

10.   There are a lot of things that come before you. Translation: “My dog has been with me for years, he’s not going anywhere. My truck gets washed every Sunday and waxed shortly after, I like doing that. I meet with the boys a few nights a week. I don’t want to change that. I see my family often, you may be invited you may not be invited but I’m still going to do those things. The thing is, if we are ever to become anything you need to quit trying to change who I am. That’s not going to happen, you liked me enough to start talking to me, why do ya wanna change me now?”

It must be a marine thing…

As I read a copy of, The 21^st Century’s Guide to Casual Sex,  began thinking how guilty women are of doing some of the exact same behavior as described in the book. No I won’t go into sorted details because I actually want you to read it. But I will say this, as women we are just as bad as men when it comes to using the opposite sex.

As women the use of men may be in different ways, using someone doesn’t always have to mean sexually. Some use men to fill a the void of not getting attention from men in their lives, others prefer their money or lavish gifts and more often than not a woman will take a million compliments from a man she has no interest in simply because he is willing to tell her what she wants to hear. No woman can dispute the fact that sometimes we use them for our own selfish reasons. Yet, we continuously hate on men for using us, is because their needs of using us differ from our own?

You may remember that I wrote about having the horrible sex with the man in the Christmas boxers, if I didn’t tell you then I’m telling you now, he was a marine.  What does it matter, at the time I didn’t think it did. What does one military service have over another? I have no idea, though they will tell you (in any branch) that one is obviously more superior than the other, coming back to that whole whose penis is bigger macho argument. When I would say a penis is a penis, you both have one get over it. That’s how I felt about the military; you all serve the same country, you all are wonderful services to the American people now let’s move on. However, after I met Man and went out with him not once, not twice but three times I would have to say that Marines are now at the bottom of my list, holding a very close second the Navy for obvious past relationship reasons.

The sad part of this situation is that I don’t even remember Man’s name. And the only clever nick name I could give him was “Man” and simply because he had a pet dog that he referred to as “Dog” so it seems suitable to refer to him as “Man”. I remember he had amazing blue eyes and was a very smooth talker. He reminded me slightly of someone I once loved so I really and I mean REALLY tried to like him. After all he did make it past one date. That’s got to count for something.

Well Man was as I said an active Marine, made decent money as shown by his material items and the way he dressed and smelled (nothing better than a man who smells good, he can be a bum as long as he smells good instant bonus points). He was also a gentleman in public opening not only doors to the buildings for me but my car door as well as I slid down into his Audi TT. He would hold out his hand as he opened the car door to help me out and then even walk hand in hand with me into the fancy dinning places we always ended up. He had game or he really liked me, but there was something that I was lacking. There was something that I couldn’t figure out on dates one or two. Why after having decent dates and intelligent conversation couldn’t I like “Man”. I sought advice from every friend I had: female, male, lesbian, gay it didn’t matter they all said the same thing “There’s no chemistry, Single girl get over it and move on.”

But I wanted there to be chemistry. I wanted to like Man because he was good to me, he treated me well and he was pretty awesome standing next to. Arm and arm I’d say we could have been a power couple and taken on the world but when it came to sparks and butterflies I couldn’t find them. The things that he did that I enjoyed couldn’t compare to the things men that I had loved without all the money without all the materialistic possessions and flashy dining did for me. So I had two choices, I could be upfront with Man and tell him he was amazing and I knew a million girls that would kill to be with him or I could have sex with him and hope to find that attraction that I was missing.  Think, think, think… what’s a single girl to do?

My logic who really believes those speeches about being awesome and anyone being lucky to have you… and after all before you decide to buy a car you test drive it to make sure you like it and if you’re still unsure maybe you take it  around one more block, right? Logically, Single girl isn’t always right. But just like men, we do things that are irrational and may look a lot like “using” from the outside. I wouldn’t call it that, more like a match. If a match doesn’t light up on fire the first time you try again, second time you try again and third time well you hope you get a spark. Man was my match and I was looking for fire. And as we all know when you play with fire you’re going to get burned.

After another wonderful spark-less date, Man came back to my house and he picked a movie for us to watch on Netflix. (Which I have to add, that I truly from the bottom of my heart do LOVE my Netflix. See how easily we toss the word love around…) I think he chose the original Night of the Living Dead or something along that nature. For normal people that may not have been the right setting for anything sexual but I’m not typical I love horror movies and I had seen it before, winning!

On my couch Man sat with me as I snuggled up to him, I was going to have to make the first move. Oh, what’s this? Man may be a gentle man outside but when it came time to get down to business he knew exactly what buttons to push. So, I’m thinking this is going to work out perfectly. Through the house we go and make it into my bedroom. I played the victim “We shouldn’t be doing this.” and “We need to wait.” Men like to think they’re able to seduce us, it’s a powerful thing to encourage someone to have sex with you when they’re trying so hard not to. But in my mind I was like ok let’s get this on. Let’s go Man show me what you’ve got. He wasn’t using me, I was using him.

The sex was a complete failure, I faked it to be done (because he wanted to make sure that I came and enjoyed myself before he did) and then it happened. He came, the flood gates opened and it was a torrential down poor. Then something hit me, the smell was terrible. His spunk and all its fury smelled like something dying, something that I cannot even begin to describe. Death and garbage filled my room and I immediately hopped up to head to bathroom to clean myself off. I was disturbed and disgusted what in the hell had just happened how could and odor so bad come from a man who during normal day smelled so good?  I showered I had to get it away I had to make the smell stop.

After a thorough scrubbing I went back to my bedroom and the smell lingered. He lay there in my bed and apparently had no intention of leaving. I stumbled around what to say and asked him if he had to work in the morning (knowing very well that he did in fact have to report about 0700. He asked me to set my alarm for him. Think quick single girl think quick…..

“Since you have to be up so early… why don’t you take a shower so you won’t have to get up earlier?” One of two things are going to happen, he’s going to say no politely leave or he’s going to shower and I can de-funk my bed. Of course he chose to shower. I spent that short ten minutes disinfecting my entire room. Thank God for Lysol! When I say everything I mean everything I sprayed my bed, sheets, pillows and anything near my bed that could have been contaminated.  He came back, curled up next to me and I cringed. He didn’t smell, the room didn’t smell but once you smell something so terrible it’s stuck in your nose forever. I didn’t sleep well. Off and on I would wake up and still find Man completely content curled up to me in bed.

When my alarm went off for him, I expected a nice goodbye I’ll talk to you later, have a great day at work. What did I get?  

“Single girl, I’ve got time to kill how about another go at it?”

Single girl got morning sex. And even after two completely clean bodies the smell returned. He kissed me goodbye and I began my ritual of showering until my skin fell off. This time I threw my sheets away. Sprayed Lysol on my mattress and my entire room once again, then never returned a text from him.

How do you tell a guy I can’t date you because your sperm makes me want to throw up? What would you say if someone said “Your spunk is funky!”

I can only be thankful for one thing, that I didn’t take the south route,( which I normally enjoy) before going straight into having sex.

Two marines, two bad sexually experiences? It can’t be a coincidence, it must be a Marine thing.

*side note I just remembered his name ( I felt bad for a minute…)

Single Girl to Single Woman????????????

I was driving down the road with my cousin (21 y.o) on one side of me and my Mother and my younger (17 y.o.)cousin in the back of the car, when I looked at myself in my rear view mirror and realized I'm starting to look my age. I'm actually getting older. I have been feeling it for years and now I'm starting to see it. The worst part was not that I'm aging (though I will admit I am not taking it well ) it's the just the more I thought about getting older  the more I realized I've been acting my age and  far above my age as well..... the  begining of the end. And my birthday is soon.... take at least five candles away please...

Top Signs Single Girl is getting Old.

1. I look forward to sleep on the weekends.

2. My Sunday's are always dedicated to house work.

3. A guy speaks to me and immediately I wonder "How old is he?" Not because he might be too old but because I think he's too young!

4. I immediately feel like an old woman when I walk into the mall.

5. I'm not hip with the new lingo you dig me?

6. Cats.... I own two.

7. I spend more time thinking "I really don't need to waste my money on that." when I'm out shopping.

8. I think in career terms instead of job terms.

9. I've accepted my age because I can't hide it anymore.

10. Instead of arguing with people I suddenly have become the bigger person.

11.  I think how my actions will affect others and the rest of my life.

12. I share life lessons with teenagers and say "I know this because I've lived it."

13. I use the phrases "One day you'll regret..." or "One day you'll think about that and realize..." when talking to a person about a problem they're having. And then later to myself I say "If they would have listened to me..."

14. Everyone younger than me has issues.

15. I can't even define cool or use the correct word to associate what cool would be in today's youth terms.

16. My cell phone has more phone numbers for family, coworkers and doctors than potential dates.

17. I'm proud of my flowers and my lawn that's still a work in progress.

18. Songs I used to sing along to with my Mother are now one the "oldies" radio station.

19. I have houseplants and none of them are illegal or can be smoked.

20. The "other" items outnumber the alcoholic items in my kitchen.

21. Everyone looks too young to be driving, dating or drinking!

22. I miss having naps.

23. Sexual harassment doesn't happen to me anymore.

24. I cut my hair.

25. A ten minute wait at Red Box for movies is my Friday night entertainment!

26. I have icy hot and mineral ice to rub on my joints when they're sore.

27. I put decorations in my house with inspiring words and quotes.

28. I'm crafty.

29. I read a lot.

30. The television is used for background noise while I spend most of my evening working.

Babies and birth control should have been the least of my worries...

As most of you noticed I posted a photo today of a missed birth control pill. And I’m sure every girl on the pill can vouch for the fact how easy it is to miss one pill. The comments and humor surrounding this photo brought up a memory of my ex. I’ve thought about it all day and how to tell this story. Where to begin and how to make sure you get the point I’m actually trying to make with it. I do not want the focus to be on the fight as much as the moral that at the time I was too blind to see (birth control was NOT my problem).

I had been with Mr. Comfort (at the time) for five years. We had settled into a very boring life. If you would have asked me then I would have told you I was completely happy. I would have told you that I was exactly where I was meant to be and he was exactly what I wanted. I would have done anything for him, and most times did. Defending his poor work skills, lack of motivation and ambition, ignoring his lack of hygiene and over looking his late nights with the boys and his obsession over W.O.W. or whatever it was that they did in the garage of his best friend’s mother. I would have told you that buying his clothes, food and whatever new “toy” was on the market was alright with me because love had no value, it was just money and I wanted him to be happy. I would have told you I loved him, that he was good to me and that I was loved in return. I would have naively told you he felt the exact same way about me.

I had been on the pill for probably four of those years and I had started having medical complications. I had gone to the OBGYN and together we discussed multiple options. For a time we switched my pills trying new ones with different levels of estrogen, then as a final result she suggested I completely stop taking birth control until we figured out what the problem was. I had hope that maybe I had been on the pill for too long and a break would obviously do my body some good.

I had kept Mr. Comfort up to date on each of these visits. I didn’t hide it from him, I never once pretended things weren’t being changed around or increased or decreased and so when my doctor suggested I stop taking the pill I also told him that.

I sat in the bedroom telling him I was going to be taking a break from the pill so we would need to use other protection as we had before I was put on the pill. He nodded in agreement. I explained my that my doctor thinks my body might just need a break from it and that I could go back on it again in a few months but for the time being  we would have to be "careful". He nodded in agreement. At first he and I were both against me being put on the pill for multiple reasons. One very important one is that it can reduce a woman’s sex drive,but once I realized I was only going to have three day periods there was no changing my mind.

My sex drive had decreased but so had his interest in me. We weren’t rabid sex craved teenagers anymore, when each moment alone was a chance to have sex. Being on birth control meant he had to try a little harder to get my engine ready and at times he was willing to do so, other times not so much. Together we had let our sexual relationship be put on the back burner to our comfortable it happens when it happens, it is what it is and this is our live routine. Healthy??? Not by a long shot but like I said “we” loved each other.

After being off the pill for a week or so my sex drive came roaring back into play. No longer could I sit near him alone without it constantly playing in my head. Each time I went to bed it was solely for the purpose of having sex. I wanted it more at that time than I had when we first began our sexual relationship. He didn't complain and I kept him busy...

 Towards the end of a very passionate romp in the sheets, he came inside me. Immediately my mind went into panic, OMG I'm going to get pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! However, in order to NOT freak him out I said nothing.  That night I lay awake for a while scared. I was not ready to be a mother, he was not ready to be a father. I would have to tell him that we could not do that anymore. We were too young to have a baby. And by too young I mean 23. I was not going to be one of "those" women who had "accident" children.

The next day we went to Bob Evans for lunch (freaking Bob Evans!!!!!! ) and I sat smiling and laughing with him completely content, with just him and I, not wanting to add a mini either one of us to the equation I decided to bring up that we definitely need to be more careful in the bedroom.

“You know last night was awesome. But we have to remember I’m not on my birth control and…”

*What the fuck? (He yelled in freaking Bob Evans)

“You know I haven’t been taking my pill, I told you that…”

*Well fuck, we might as well name the fucking kid now... Jesus, fuck me. A fucking kid?

“Seriously? I told you about this! You knew from day one, don’t act like this is my fault!”

*You scandalous bitch, you’re trying to trap me! If you get fucking pregnant I'm stuck!

Trap him? Scandalous? We have been dating for five years if I wanted to “trap” him I would have done it sooner.

Mean while all the older couples enjoying their Sunday lunches and their families have started to look us as if we were white trash. He continued to draw attention to us pointing the blame all on me.

“How dare you speak to me that way, I’m the one here telling you we need to be more responsible and you’re attacking me? It’s obvious you don’t listen to a single word I say. Or you WOULD have remembered!”

*You let me do it. You could have stopped me. This is your fault. I’m going to be fucking stuck with you and some bastard kid I don’t want forever. There goes my fucking life. Are you fucking happy?

With that I got up. I walked away, I was embarrassed, hurt and completely stunned by his behavior. I apologized to the elderly couple sitting closest to us and asked if I could pay for their meal.

*You better save your fucking money for that kid of yours…

They declined realizing I had more problems than the looks I was getting from the entire Bob Evans Sunday crowd. I left the building I walked to my car. He came out after me. The entire way home I refused to speak. For a while he too was silent then he tried to smooth things over. I was beyond words; no amount of apologizing could make up for the hurtful words he had just said. I looked dead ahead at the road, replaying the entire Bob Evans outburst in my head.

“Scandalous bitch, bastard child, all my fault… Scandalous bitch, bastard child, all my fault” like a record repeating in my head.

*You know I was just shocked and didn’t mean all of that. I just hope you’re not pregnant. Fuck. Um, I’m sorry, my temper got away with me and…

His mother pulled up into the drive way where I was trying to get him to leave my car. I still had not spoken a single word to him. I sat there disgusted by this person I “loved” who supposedly “loved” me, angry tears began to form in my eyes as his mother approached the car going on about some party or some family event she wanted us to attend, I couldn’t look at her and I refused to look at him. I couldn’t sit there without completely melting down and screaming at her son for what horrible things he had said to me and about me. She stopped in the middle of her rant:

“Single girl… are you okay? Mr. Comfort is she crying what’s going on… what happened…

*She’s fine mom just leave her alone. I’ll talk to you later alright…. Alright? I’ll call you. I’ll see you tomorrow ok… ok…

I didn’t answer. I would not answer.

 He finally got out of my car and as he walked away I could hear his mother asking him a million questions. Questions I knew he wouldn’t answer. Things I knew he would never tell her and probably never speak of again, even to me. These were things I would never forget…

And yet I stayed with him, until he cheated on me and broke up with me six months later.

Past, present and your friend's ex's

I’ve often heard one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. In that sense I ask you this, is one woman’s ex another woman’s white knight? Does it make a difference if that woman is one of your friends? I wonder should you take a relationship hint from your female’s friends past mistakes?  What factors play into this decision? How close of a friend is she? How long have you known them? What if it was years ago? What if they’ve both moved on? What if, what if, what if…

If they didn’t last does it mean that you can’t succeed in a relationship either? Not all people are compatible, we each have ex’s we wouldn’t recommend to other women; however, many of my ex’s are happily in relationships and even married. Just because they weren’t for me doesn’t mean they aren’t for anyone else. So, how do you decide whether or not to judge someone on their past relationship or just jump in head first and hope for the best?

One of my friend’s ex’s has over the past years repeatedly tried to go out with me, spend time with me or just “hang out with me”. I admire his persistence, what woman doesn’t want to be chased? Though I enjoy a good game of chase, I’m a woman who eventually likes to be caught. But I don’t feel being caught in this game would make a smart decision.  Would I just be another animal tracked down by the hound…

Though I’m sure my friend may have had some of her own issues in their relationship, he holds just as much to blame. I wonder what would make me any different from her. Should I hold him accountable for something that may never happen, should I assume he’d cheat on me, fight with me, and belittle me in the same way she had once described to me? Or it is completely unfair to judge him by someone else’s standards? Am I being fair to him by refusing the persistence, ignoring the compliments and avoiding his company?

Is it possible that people change? Is it possible that one man will treat every woman the same? Back to that am I the rule or the exception question… Or should it just be that I should ignore him not because he hasn’t changed and not because he could treat me the same way but because he was once my friend’s boyfriend. Should it become a matter of loyalty to my friend and not a matter of his character; however, everyone is someone’s ex!  Where do the lines cross, the tracks meet and the road end for all the exceptions I should make or the reasons I should pick a side.

At what point should you stop letting another person’s past ruin your possible future?

*Thoughts at random. Single Girl’s Mind gone awry. *

Sexually Textual

So, in order to respond to all the love in the air in spring time I thought that I would share a little tickle your pickle game, to keep you occupied and still sex free. Not all of us randomly go around sleeping with strangers and having sex with random people, or maybe that’s just me. However, I do have needs and I do enjoy a good time. And you can play this game with your boyfriend, girlfriend or text “friend”.

A while ago with a boyfriend of mine I came up with a game to keep us in the mood and ready to go at the drop of a hat whenever we finally got time to be together. With jobs and life sometimes it’s hard to have the time for foreplay. And let’s be honest, sometimes we can’t just jump to it and be raring and ready to go. We came up with a way to keep us both on the edge of our seats with anticipation that made it even more fun once we finally met later in the day/night.

The game was called “Truth, Picture, Dirty Go!” In the game using cell phone cameras, text messages and often times short videos anything goes. Any question can be asked and MUST be answered with the truth. A picture can be sent and a similar picture must be returned. For example for a underwear shot for a panty shot. Dirty is a scenario “What would you do if you were with me right now…. (insert place)” and then your partner in crime follows up with dirty talk from head to toe where you would they start, speed, finish and end up. The “Go” portion of the game is to signal you’re on your way home and it’s definitely a game on night.

With videos they can get tricky. It doesn’t have to be the same video but it has to live up to the standard and level of the video sent to you much like the picture. However, in the video you try to one up the other. You want to go a little further than they did.

The tricky part is for neither of you to actually “get off”. The anticipation and the build up through the day will make your night much more enjoyable. If you give in to the urge you’re going to miss the passion later. Make it an ongoing daily event. I’m a firm believer in daily sex when in a healthy relationship. Make sure to keep it interesting and fun and you’ll always be left wanting more… and your partner? The happiest one on the block!

Now if you’re not going to see each other. Be sure to keep it going as long as possible before you give in. The longer you go the more enjoyable your own experience will be. Slow and steady wins the race.

Single girl’s opinion gives this two thumbs WAY up!!!!!!!