A conversation is a dance, try and keep up!

The problem with maintaining a conversation with anyone is that it’s like dancing. If either of you are off beat it simply will not work. Obviously one person must lead the conversation but that doesn’t mean it should only be one sided. It’s give and take, back and forth and should be worth the time and effort.  It takes two to tango, no pun intended.

If one of you happen to be more clever and witty, and you’re forced to slow down, to allow the other one to keep up, you’re just dumbing yourself down. Aim higher!  Conversations should be stimulating and enjoyable, they should make you think, bring about questions and leave you feeling you’ve now discovered something new. However, if you can’t keep up in a conversation and people constantly have to explain it to you, then you need to read a little more often and spend less time watching Jersey Shore.

In general the conversations we have are the things we remember about one another. One conversation can change everything. Think about it like this, remember your first I love you, when you told someone secrets, shared exciting news, your last break up, the words last spoken to someone you’ve lost. All these things happen because of the conversations we have with one another. Good or bad they happen.

Why waste your time trying to make a conversation happen, trying to force something that should come so naturally. If you can’t hold a conversation with someone and each be on each other’s level then what’s the point? If you can’t outwit me and I don’t drown you with clever come backs then we’re just not fit for dancing. Our conversation patterns are all wrong.

Obviously conversations are more than just words. It’s the words that are said between the two people that matter. How you use your words to talk to the other person. Do you find yourself trying to think up something clever, pausing during the conversation waiting for something to hit you so you can feel smarter to this person? Do you find yourself using smaller words and explaining things like you would to a child? That’s too much pressure, why aren’t the words there? Why aren’t they just naturally flowing?

All people interact differently with one another. I do not talk to my staff the way I talk to my Mom. I do not talk to adults the way I talk to children. I do not talk to customers the way I talk to friends. But each conversation I’m having I make sure it is worthwhile.  I want people to walk away from my conversation with them and think… maybe about me, maybe about what I said, maybe just think in general. If I’m not leaving an impression behind when I meet you and have that first conversation then what’s going to bring you back? 

You can make a first impression to someone without speaking to them. However, you leave a lasting impression once you open your mouth and the words come out. So make sure those words are worth saying.

“Words are very valuable things.” King Azaz- The Phantom Tollbooth