Beware of these men!

In reference to an article my friend shared with me about men you shouldn't date, we decided that my own list of men not to date would be way more interesting than the typical lists. We all know not to date men who don't want to commit, ex's and so on.  But what about the one's I've dated... So here's:

The Single Girl's Do Not Date List for 2012

*Teachers: After all that time they spend with girls under age who don't have a clue, their brains are distorted that you may not either. Examples: The Talker, The Jack Off date

*The Schedule Man: Chances are if he has an exact time schedule Wednesday from 6-8 or Friday from noon till 3. Or certain times he can "take phone calls from you" or stops responding to your text by a certain time each day, he has a woman. And while she's working and he's fitting you in when she won't notice his absence.  Example: The Good Guy

*The man who only says "You're hot" as a compliment. This is one that some women like; however, if that's the only reason you want to talk to me chances are you don't really want to talk to me at all. Thank you for the compliment now move along! I do appreciate the compliment, I won't deny that. It's just looks fade and there has to be substance ladies, give yourselves more credit than that. Example: Mr. P.

*The jobless. Not knowing what you want to be when you grow up is fine with me, there are days I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But have a freaking job! I want to know that you do support yourself and don't rely on others to do it for you. I know I don't make enough to take care of you and me both. I'm not a gold digger, flip burgers for all I care, just do something! Examples: Metal Plate Mac, and countless others.

*The Tragedy Man. Never date a man who you meet through some type of disaster in your life. One because you're obviously at a very low point in your life and two he probably has some sort of issue since he wants to date someone not completely stable. Or he has a prince charming complex and wants to save you. Either way The Tragedy Man rolls into your life at the wrong time and it ends up wrong on many levels. Example: Nips.

*The Cave Man.  "Ug own you." It's fine to have someone want to be with you. It's also fine to have a slight bit of jealousy about you. It is not fine to dictate who I can and cannot be friends with. It is not fine to show up to my house and obsess over the idea that someone may have been there other than me. It is not fine to think that you can call up and check on me not only through my number but my friends and family as well. Ug owns no one! Single girl does what she wants, especially after only ONE DATE! Example: Mr. Needy and the Milk Man

*Mr. Needs Fixin'.  As woman we all think we can change men. That we will be the ones who will save them from all their horrible wrongs and make them right. That though he's a ladies' man doesn't mean he can't be exclusive, though he has no interest in being exclusive doesn't mean I can't change his mind. Though he has no ambition or drive in life doesn't mean I can't help him find his passion. Though he cheats on me doesn't mean he always will... the list goes on and on. If you have to change him as soon as you meet him; remove him from your dating list. You can't. People change for themselves not other people. And though we all like to think we're special in reality, in this case, you're just another woman who will lose the game.

*The Smirker.  The cool guy who isn't smiling in his pictures is hiding something. Maybe he's a player. Maybe he's hoarding a dark secret. Maybe that's his sexy face. But chances are he's hiding his horrible teeth! If all the pictures have no sign of pearly whites then chances are they aren't so pearly or so white! Avoid him and his grill!

*The Just Friends Guy. Seriously ladies he isn't joking. He may want friend with benefits but he doesn't want to be exclusive. He was honest with you and you took it as an invite to make your wedding plans. He said what he meant so don't fall for his shit!

*The Metro Guy. If he dresses better than you, spends more time getting ready than you and his hair is better than yours, walk away. We're supposed to be the fancy ones. Guys are there and yes we want them to appealing and pleasing to the eye (and nose) however, that doesn't mean you should end up waiting on him to get ready. Because it won't change, you'll spend the rest of your life waiting on him and his hair obsession.

*The criminal. Yes, we all find the "bad boy" appealing but having a criminal record is far more extreme than a rebel without a cause. Murders, thieves and sociopaths need not apply. Ladies, I think it's time we started doing back ground checks on our dates. Nothing says "I should have listened to Single Girl" like being held hostage by your boyfriend in a police shoot out!

*The Ginger. No offense but we all know they're crazy. And there's only enough room in my relationships for my own craziness.

*Mr. Accomplishment. He brags and boasts about all his achievements and you start to wonder where in his short time on this Earth did he actually have time to save the planet, maintain a career, date, help the needy, volunteer for the Humane society and fight the war on terror. If it sounds too good to be true, and the stories are full of him being the hero, chances are they're all lies. Example: Last Man I loved.

*Mr. Comfort. Yeah he's ok but he definitely doesn't spark fireworks. He's alright to hang out with but isn't rocking your socks. You can't force yourself to like Mr. Comfort until something better comes along and you can't stay with Mr. Comfort just because he's nice. Move along and save everyone the trouble of a messy break up where he cries because he thought you two had something special and he was just passing time until something better came along. (You women can be so cruel ;)   )

*Mr. Dad/Mr. Mom. I have no reason to hate single parents. I applaud them for their hard work and trying to make their children's lives better; however, I do have a problem becoming a part of the family after two dates and becoming the "mom" when you're too tired and the "babysitter" when you can't make it home in time.  Dating qualifications did not list mother figure or babysitter as part of my responsibilities. Kudos to single parents but I'm not going to be the one raising your children after just a couple dates.

*Mr. Self Centered. What about my needs? Don't you ever think how this will affect me? Don't you care about me? I need this. I need that. You should make sure that I am happy. You should get me a beer. You should run to the store. You should take care of me, because as you know the world does revolve around me. I know this guy too well... He feeds off of your kindness. Mr. Self Centered will never see you as anything more than an ego boost!

*Mr. Un-hygienic. Let's face it; scent is the closest link to memory. Good smells, good memories. What about the bad smells? You don't want to wish for death when he walks into the room. Showering, deodorant and mouth wash are required and no you shouldn't have to remind him!

*Mr. Emotional Wreck. Let's face it we're emotional enough on our own, we don't need unnecessary drama and tears. If he has more issues in life, more tears through the week and has stock in tissues. You're going to end up being the man of the relationship. You'll end up having to take care of him and help him be the man he's supposed to be. Women claim we want sensitive guys that just means we want you to be sympathetic when we're emotional that doesn't mean when the Hallmark channel is having a love story marathon we want you dropping all your plans and sobbing the entire day with ice cream. That's our job not yours!

*Mr. Fair Weather. The guy who pops in and out of your life unexpectedly, he's the stray cat that roams from house to house and you may not see him for weeks then suddenly he's on your doorstep and you go ahead and feed him and take care of him until he disappears again. If he's popping in and out of your life chances are you've become his fall back plan. You are the back burner and he will always use you when no one else is available.  Do not allow yourself to be anyone's Plan B!

*Josh. I've rarely known anyone to have a positive relationship with a guy named Josh. When polled of names not to date most girls voted the "Josh's" of the world. I've never dated a Josh but half the female population can't be wrong...

So, there you have it Single Girl's top 20 undateable guys in 2012! Or any year for that matter, you have now been warned.