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Sunday, August 12, 2012

Great insight and brutally honest!

I’ve realized here lately that older men are great resources to the way men think. They don’t sugar coat anything, I know two especially that are in my life (through work) and love to give me insight into other men. They have both been in the military; both paid their dues (by getting married and having kids) and have lived the rest of their lives single and dating. Here’s what they shared with me:

1.       Men don’t want women who are always thinking of the future. Live in the now. Translation: “All of you girls who have your wedding planned out; keep it to yourself. Men don’t want to hear how you have planned their entire lives for them. Chances are they haven’t thought about what they’re going to eat in two hours let alone what the names of all the future children will be and what colors you think compliment your eyes for the center pieces on the tables.”

2.       We do guy stuff; we have time when it’s just us and our friends. Translation: “When I’m with my guy friends, don’t text me and call me a million times. Either I’m not going to answer or I’m not going to say what you want me to say, I’m with my friends, find your own and do something!”

3.       I like things the way I like them; I don’t want anyone to mess that up. Translation: “My house, my car, my garage my things may be a mess to you but that’s my mess and I’m not asking you or anyone else to fix it. Don’t move my things around, don’t try to organize and just accept it.”

4.       Your sneaky woman tricks don’t work; we know what you’re doing. Translation: “Don’t move your things into my house slowly; keep your shit at your house. If I haven’t invited you to bring a toothbrush then don’t. If I do invite you to bring a toothbrush, that’s all you can bring all that extra stuff in your “get ready” bag isn’t on the list. Take it back home. Also, don’t buy me things to ‘leave at your place, just in case’ I’m not moving in with you either. Don’t try to sneak me into your house by buying all my supplies thinking this will trick me into never leaving you. I’m smarter than that!”

5.       I mean what I say and I say what I mean. I’m upfront with you, it’s not a line it’s the truth. Translation: “When I say I don’t want anything to do with your children, I mean it. I won’t change my mind. If I say I’m not looking for a girlfriend, that’s not a secret code for you can change my mind. If I say I don’t want to spend the night, that isn’t a cue for you to start begging me. You can’t get mad at me later in the relationship, when you realize that I’m not going to marry you, take care of your kids, spend the night or even make you my girlfriend. You were warned early on”

6.       I may be old but I’m not blind. Translation: “We’re men, we are going to look. Don’t take that as we hate you, we think you’re fat or some other crazy woman thought. In reality that girl probably wouldn’t give us the time of day. Just don’t jump down our throat if we’re good to you and only look.”

7.       There’s a time to let go. Translation: “If we went out and you never hear from me again, or I suddenly stop talking to you, let it go. Texting and calling me twenty or more times a day isn’t going to change that. Hell, three times isn’t going to change that. It may be wrong but I’m done and I’m moving on. So should you.  If I’m not replying and you keep trying, you look pathetic and I’m considering loading my gun before bed.”

8.       This ain’t the old days. Translation: “Now a days you women work too. It’s not right we pay all the time. I’m not saying that you just go spend all your money on men all the time. But if we’ve gone out a few times, it’s nice if you offer to pay. I may not let you and maybe I spent a little too much on my truck and will let you. Who knows? The point is, it’s nice of you just to offer, so we know right away whether you just want our wallet or not.”

9.       Let me be a man! Translation:  “If something’s broke let me try to fix it. Don’t tell me how to do it, why to do it or when to do it. I’ll get to it. If I can’t do it, let me talk to a friend. He might be able to do it. Don’t just assume I can’t do anything and call someone. The last resort is calling someone and chances are I have a buddy who can fix it for half price. So let me take care of that. Stepping on my man toes only pisses me off. Then I’ll never offer to help you again.”

10.   There are a lot of things that come before you. Translation: “My dog has been with me for years, he’s not going anywhere. My truck gets washed every Sunday and waxed shortly after, I like doing that. I meet with the boys a few nights a week. I don’t want to change that. I see my family often, you may be invited you may not be invited but I’m still going to do those things. The thing is, if we are ever to become anything you need to quit trying to change who I am. That’s not going to happen, you liked me enough to start talking to me, why do ya wanna change me now?”