All my life I’ve been a good girl. Immediately the pop song “What the hell” jumps into my head and the lyrics “All my life I’ve been good but now I’m thinking what the hell. All I want is to mess around!”
I held on to my virginity until I was nearly 19 years old. I was raised to believe it was something to hold on to and save for the “right” person. I waited until I found the guy I thought I would “love” forever and while that lasted six years of my life it came to an end. After letting go of my “V” card I still tried to save every sexual experience (minus one or two) for people that I legitimately cared about.
Now the only thing on my mind is that I could have wasted valuable years of having sex. I could have been bed hopping making memories good and bad that I would look back on years from now and think “Ah the good old days of being young and having fun”. But I’m not getting any younger! What has this life of being a prude gotten me?
I have guarded my vagina like Fort Knox, no one is getting in there without references and identification but now I wonder why. My clever Mother tried to tell me that a good guy wouldn’t want to be with a girl who has been around the block so many times or that “gives it up right away” and that may be true in some cases. Even though when I asked her about it she was stumped and had to think extremely hard about a good reason to discourage me from becoming a 30 year old sexual prowess.
I’ve held out on people and also lost their interest. A person can judge me by number of sexual experiences and lose interest. Right or wrong a person losing interest in me can go either way. Nothing I do is going to make every guy happy. If I revirginize myself and take cold showers every day where will that get me? On the other hand, experiencing more has many positives and very few negatives. Is it time to hang my good girl cape up and strap on something a little more modern?
I’m 30 and I have a small number but what do I have to show for it? There isn’t an award for low sexual partners and I’ve turned down what could have been amazing sex or at least a good blog for what? Eventually I will reach the age where I won’t be chased by multiple guys and I won’t have daily opportunities to have sex. Will I look back and feel like I missed out on my own sexual revolution? Will I feel that I passed up chances and experiences and feel a void where my promiscuous behavior should have been?
Maybe it isn’t too late; I’ve always heard a woman’s sexual peak starts at 30….
“When I’m good I’ very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” Mae West