I took a poll of “yes or no” without telling anyone what they were being asked yes or no to. Everyone said “yes” except for one person. I would guess I asked nearly 25 people. In my little test 24 out of 25 people automatically said “yes”. Which now had me thinking if people are so willing to say “yes” as an answer to a question they don’t even know, then maybe I’m over thinking things in general. Maybe I’m the problem. I think too much and that makes me lame… but when I don’t think I get into too much trouble.
So tonight, I had a moment of weakness. This was a huge lapse in my judgment towards the man population, which I so openly adore and hate at the same time. I considered the possibility that maybe I was a bit harsh on the ‘men who sleep with women while drunk’ rant. As well as, the ‘men that just say things to get women in to bed’ speech. Maybe it’s possible that they do actually mean what they say. That because of their intoxicated state they could finally say all the things they ever felt but were too afraid to say since their liquid courage had kicked in. After all I’ve been told alcohol is a truth serum…
and then I slapped myself back into reality.
I will not be played the fool. That part doesn’t suit me well. I was a fool to think at all… You can’t just call me up cool and casual and start telling me how much you cared about me and I just up and broke your heart year after year pushing you into the “friend zone” and expect me to now beg and plead with you to forgive me. You also can’t invite me over to play drinking games at your house alone. This all leads to very bad things. Would I like to believe you? Yes. However, in reality do I think you care at all? No. I think it’s the alcohol talking. And as I quickly figured out with you, the alcohol is a fantastic liar not a loving confession of the heart.
Here I am on a Friday night all dressed up and not getting ready to go. Though my friends said “yes” without thinking twice or knowing why, I had to say “no”. I had to trust my judgment on this one and know that I won’t wake up with any regrets tomorrow. I can’t believe you, I can’t trust you and until I can we’re still friends, one of the best friends I’ve ever had. But you’re still an asshole. I could probably be playing drinking games, having awesome sex, lots of laughs and an amazing night… but instead…
I’ll be putting on my pj’s pulling up my hair and working on cleaning out my attic for a friend to move in. It’s been a long time since someone lived in the house with me, which should be interesting (I’ll keep you posted). Plus I have my bet to win. Let’s not forget about that.
“I’m too young to think this old. I should be doing the things I'm old enough to know not too and young enough to still do it anyways.”