Hello Lover!
I say that because I have a lot to cover and very much like “Sex
in the City” I am sitting here in my tank top and boy shorts typing away about
my life to strangers. My way is more comfortable I’m in my bed pillows all
around me and I couldn’t think of another place I’d rather be. So, let’s dish
some dirt shall we?
1.
The Go for it clause:
If you can look beyond a person’s flaws and
think “wow this guy really likes me”, go for it. Take the chance, dive from the
top of the cliff and fall ever happily ever after in love. Dream the dream
ladies and gents go the distance; however, if that little voice inside your
head says this may be too good to be true, take heed and don’t beat yourself up
over it. Your heart was in the right place, his was not. And you are beautiful
and destined for greatness and all the love in the world. It may not come in
the form you wish, but go easy on your heart, she’s taken a beating but each
and every day she keeps you going. Feel it, love it, live it. Love life and
enjoy whatever the little things are and the big things, All the things you
over look. Slow dance. Hold hands. And appreciate those people who have never
turned their back on you. Trust and then love, for you can always love the one
you trust, but cannot always trust the one you love.
2.
The Heart:
Time heals nothing. Old love scars and
bitter hearts are molding and breaking and trying to survive. We learn to live
without people just as we learn to live with new people. If they’re not in your
life anymore, either you made that bold brave move or they did it for you and
you no matter how lonely you get are better off without them. You are more than
you could ever imagine. Let your heart heal, let your heart mend, scars remain
but they are reminders of who you were and where you’ve come from. They are
showing you the right direction of where you want to be.
3.
Homeless men:
I know it sounds crazy but if you’re in the
need for a date desperately, consider a homeless man. Shop Good will clothes, a
hot LONG shower with soap and shampoo and he’s cleaned up and ready to
impress. Make sure he doesn’t want to
live with you though. And obviously ladies or gentlemen this date is obviously
on you. Last I checked the rule “who ever paid gets laid” is not longer an
official dating rule. This all depends on the players I assume. (Yes, a
homeless man asked if he could live with
me in exchange he would be my boyfriend if it was necessary… how thoughtful.)
4.
The storm:
I run from it. I hide from it. Until I have
to face it. Sadly, no matter how many times I change my hair, buy new clothes,
new makeup, and road trip, and get away, avoiding sleep. Not a single thing can
keep me from my own demons. The storm is coming and it’s a battle I face every
day. When you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes
you. You’ve got to deal with your demons
before your demons deal with you. Stand up and face them. No amount of running
can make your problems go away and there isn’t a hairstyle in the world that
can change your entire outlook on life.
5.
Struggle:
It’s going to happen, rise above or sink
below. Sometimes you’re a swan perfect on the open water. Everyone envies you,
everyone loves you and they don’t see how much you struggle and kick your feet
under the water to get around to survive and to keep on going. Hold on to that
fight in you. Paddle furiously underneath, because sometimes you have to make
it all alone.
6.
Emtpy:
Have you ever felt completely alone in a
room full of people and yet found solace in an empty room? Can you stand the
thoughts inside your head long enough to be alone or do you need that room of
people to distract you? I’ve never felt more alone than the day I stood in a
room full of my friends.
7.
Why not me? What’s wrong with me?
I am constantly battling with the idea that
something is wrong with me. For
instance, in all my life and sexual experience (which is limited believe or
not) I have only offered to have sex with two people that I was not completely
crushing mad head over heels thought I’d be with them forever relationship.
Both of them turned me down. And though by no fault of their own I somehow blame
myself or think that I wasn’t good enough. I need to stop my labeling. I need
to realize that some people want skittles and some people want M&M’s and I’m
Rainbow Twizzlers. I’m just not made for everyone; I don’t fit the mold “everyone’s
type”. So why do I beat myself up when I’m turned down? Is it because I’ve been
forced to believe that I should fit into the man created sexy image? Maybe it
is, and I know it gets to us when we see it plastered all over magazines,
books, and movies and even in art. But what does beauty define? Who decides
what is beautiful? We do, we set the trends, we compare ourselves, let’s stop
it. Who defines beauty, we do because we are.A man will lie to your face when he is himself, give him a mask and he’ll tell you everything you want to know. Which masks are you wearing and which ones do you need to remove
