Sexually Textual

So, in order to respond to all the love in the air in spring time I thought that I would share a little tickle your pickle game, to keep you occupied and still sex free. Not all of us randomly go around sleeping with strangers and having sex with random people, or maybe that’s just me. However, I do have needs and I do enjoy a good time. And you can play this game with your boyfriend, girlfriend or text “friend”.

A while ago with a boyfriend of mine I came up with a game to keep us in the mood and ready to go at the drop of a hat whenever we finally got time to be together. With jobs and life sometimes it’s hard to have the time for foreplay. And let’s be honest, sometimes we can’t just jump to it and be raring and ready to go. We came up with a way to keep us both on the edge of our seats with anticipation that made it even more fun once we finally met later in the day/night.

The game was called “Truth, Picture, Dirty Go!” In the game using cell phone cameras, text messages and often times short videos anything goes. Any question can be asked and MUST be answered with the truth. A picture can be sent and a similar picture must be returned. For example for a underwear shot for a panty shot. Dirty is a scenario “What would you do if you were with me right now…. (insert place)” and then your partner in crime follows up with dirty talk from head to toe where you would they start, speed, finish and end up. The “Go” portion of the game is to signal you’re on your way home and it’s definitely a game on night.

With videos they can get tricky. It doesn’t have to be the same video but it has to live up to the standard and level of the video sent to you much like the picture. However, in the video you try to one up the other. You want to go a little further than they did.

The tricky part is for neither of you to actually “get off”. The anticipation and the build up through the day will make your night much more enjoyable. If you give in to the urge you’re going to miss the passion later. Make it an ongoing daily event. I’m a firm believer in daily sex when in a healthy relationship. Make sure to keep it interesting and fun and you’ll always be left wanting more… and your partner? The happiest one on the block!

Now if you’re not going to see each other. Be sure to keep it going as long as possible before you give in. The longer you go the more enjoyable your own experience will be. Slow and steady wins the race.

Single girl’s opinion gives this two thumbs WAY up!!!!!!!

Reality Check each night immediately followed by laying down in bed....

Now that I’ve deleted all my dating sites I’m a little lost in the dating worldg. I think this is the first time in a VERY long time that I haven’t been “talking” to someone or “texting” or having some form of communication with a man of some interest. This has made me realize a few things:

1.       I have no life. I work which allows me to avoid any

real life. Make any connections with anyone, truly

to avoid any pain it may cause me. I work and go home

and work some more. A plus side to this I have

been spending more quality time with my family.

Cleaning my house (kind of) and reading.  I have found

comfort in reading at night while I cannot sleep.

        Reading has replaced my texting conversations at
        night.I used to text men I was talking to until I could         finally fall asleep.
Night time is definitely  the  loneliest part of the day.

At night is when I think about the people I’ve lost, the people I’ve encountered and the horrible things that have happened to me haunt me, as if they were projected on my ceiling constantly replaying them. I don’t focus on the negative but at the end of the day, with an empty house, shut away in the dark, feeling completely alone in the entire world, they seem to lurk into my mind and keep me awake. These people, these things, they are haunting my waking hours as much as they do my dreams.

2.       Having this time to clear my head before jumping into anything with any man, even just casual texting has made me realize what I have lost in the past. And that I do love him. I questioned it while we were together. I wondered if I actually did. And it’s not because I’m lonely; there have been other guys I’ve talked to since and could have strung along for the ride if I just didn’t want to be lonely. But I didn’t do that. I stopped. I moved on and let them go. Because that isn’t fair to anyone. After all of it I really do love him. And why do I? I am in complete control of myself, the only person I can control is me so I've been told. Then why can't I tell my head and heart "Single girl don't be stupid, you can't love him! NOT HIM!"

3.       Loving him doesn’t change anything at all. Especially his mind.

And because there isn’t anything I can do about that. I’ve decided to do whatever I can do for me. I’m going to go back to school. I’m going to get hobbies. I’m going to have some sort of life… I just have to decide now what I want to do with my life… and what I want to spend it on. After all we only get one....

I could have changed the world as well...

It took a very long time for me to write this and though it's not my usual rant, it is about life a love and loss...

When I lost a fellow classmate, a wonderful friend and an amazing inspiration to many people (especially me),  at much too young of an age to a sickness most people haven’t heard of, I began thinking about the talks that we had.

He loved me; I had known this for a long time. He would have done anything for me. He would have gone through hell for me, if I’d even so much as hinted its necessity. He defended me many times and was there for me through the death of another dear friend I lost too soon to the war in Afghanistan. At night he would remind me why life was worth living. He would focus on the great things in life and how proud he was of me and what I had become. Even though he continued to push me to do more and make myself better.

As I sit and think of him and his short thirty years of life and the friendship that we had, I also realize the things that he will miss out on. And I rip myself apart  thinking of things that I could have done to help him cross something, anything off the bucket list. To give him more of a life he wanted than the one he had. His last part of life was full of doctors and appointments, medications and treatments, though when I met him he was an average sophomore guy.

I think back to when I first met him and how we even became friends. Had it of not been for his secret crush on me through shy conversations that evolved into detailed debates and hilarious banter and my own naïve freshman mind thinking I knew everything about life and love and the effects it can have on your entire life. I pushed him away and kept him as a friend. Part of me loves that he has always been my friend. I have something of value knowing he was a true FRIEND. However, the other part of me wishes that I could have been more to him.

He talked to me about having a family one day and being married. Of what his future held. He was extremely optimistic and I enjoyed listening to his dreams and future plans. At that time he was in remission, the odds were in his favor. I smiled and told him he would have all that and more because he was an amazing guy, that everyone and anyone would want to have someone just like him in their lives. Then in fear of the seriousness of the conversation, we laughed that I would be a crazy cat lady forever.

Maybe I could have married him. Had children with him and had a family. We could have been normal. We could have had it all. And for a short while he would have had everything he wanted! Though I would have hoped it would have been more than he could have ever dreamed. I also think that he would have had a life that lived on much longer after he moved on.

Yes, my memories and the memories his other friends and family, have are worthy of keeping his spirit going. But I wish I could have done that for him. I wish I could have made his short life a tiny bit better and given him that wish. Given him the family and life he wanted even if it was only for a short period of time. And then I would have been left with a living piece of him as well. Someone that I looked at each day to remind me how beautiful the world can be and how in tough times you find your strength.

He often reminded me how I was worth so much more than I allow myself to believe. For the rest of my life, I’m going to live up to his standards. I love you dear friend, no more tears in heaven, you’re the music in my heart. 

“Remember be that dream, live that dream you and I are that dream; with an undying, undiminished, unfiltered, uncontrollable, love.” (His words to me) I will never forget you. Rest in peace my dear close friend, knowing that your life (though not nearly long enough) touched so many lives and forever changed mine.