Past, present and your friend's ex's

I’ve often heard one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. In that sense I ask you this, is one woman’s ex another woman’s white knight? Does it make a difference if that woman is one of your friends? I wonder should you take a relationship hint from your female’s friends past mistakes?  What factors play into this decision? How close of a friend is she? How long have you known them? What if it was years ago? What if they’ve both moved on? What if, what if, what if…

If they didn’t last does it mean that you can’t succeed in a relationship either? Not all people are compatible, we each have ex’s we wouldn’t recommend to other women; however, many of my ex’s are happily in relationships and even married. Just because they weren’t for me doesn’t mean they aren’t for anyone else. So, how do you decide whether or not to judge someone on their past relationship or just jump in head first and hope for the best?

One of my friend’s ex’s has over the past years repeatedly tried to go out with me, spend time with me or just “hang out with me”. I admire his persistence, what woman doesn’t want to be chased? Though I enjoy a good game of chase, I’m a woman who eventually likes to be caught. But I don’t feel being caught in this game would make a smart decision.  Would I just be another animal tracked down by the hound…

Though I’m sure my friend may have had some of her own issues in their relationship, he holds just as much to blame. I wonder what would make me any different from her. Should I hold him accountable for something that may never happen, should I assume he’d cheat on me, fight with me, and belittle me in the same way she had once described to me? Or it is completely unfair to judge him by someone else’s standards? Am I being fair to him by refusing the persistence, ignoring the compliments and avoiding his company?

Is it possible that people change? Is it possible that one man will treat every woman the same? Back to that am I the rule or the exception question… Or should it just be that I should ignore him not because he hasn’t changed and not because he could treat me the same way but because he was once my friend’s boyfriend. Should it become a matter of loyalty to my friend and not a matter of his character; however, everyone is someone’s ex!  Where do the lines cross, the tracks meet and the road end for all the exceptions I should make or the reasons I should pick a side.

At what point should you stop letting another person’s past ruin your possible future?

*Thoughts at random. Single Girl’s Mind gone awry. *