Tame your one eyed snake!

Unless I ask the answer is “No”

Being a single girl, who does happen to like men, I find it fascinating how willing most men are to send pictures of their penis via cell phone. I honestly do not understand this. I wouldn’t consider myself a visual person in that sense. A picture of a stand up one eyed willy does little for my arousal needs. I figure it must be an ego boost for them.  And when I do not reply I always get the ‘so did you get it, what did you think?’ question.

To answer that????

I think it’s a penis. I’m not quite sure because my conversation was not leading to the direction of asking for a picture of your dick. Therefore, I wonder how and why this popped into my inbox on my phone. Just because you have a camera on your phone and a penis does not mean you should use the two together.  If we’re friends and I’m talking to you it’s not because of your penis. As a matter of fact, if you end up sending me a picture like that chances are you will not be talking to me anymore!

Recently, I was chatting with a guy via text who was all cocky and arrogant and I could see his charm was definitely not sincere and his ego was overwhelming. So I asked him “What’s your deal? You’re obviously cute and full of it so what’s behind that?”
He replies “Well… I’ve been hurt.”
My thought and immediate response was “Haven’t we all? So tell me what you’re hiding behind what’s your story?”
“You really want to know? Are you sure you can handle it?” he asks.
“Yes I really want to know what your issue is.” (this talk comes from my own therapy sessions I’m sure. I realize we use masks of humor and egotistical remarks to make sure that our own insecurities are hidden. Feeling very proud of having asked an in depth question and thinking that I would actually get a thoughtful answer I waited on his reply. About five minutes after my question he replied.

I opened the text and there stood his (what I referred too as) his number two pencil sized penis with the extra eraser on its tip. I was not the slightest bit impressed (I’m normally not) and I replied:
“That was not an invitation requesting a picture of your dick!”
He lol-ed and said “you asked what was hiding… there it is unhidden.”

Let’s forget the fact that I didn’t ask. One that’s not even clever and two I’m not impressed. If you’re going to brag at least have something to brag about. If I don’t ask I don’t want to see it. I have no desire to see most men’s penis’. I’d like to see as few of them as possible because they’re not really all that cute.

And guys who are reading this, just know that if you do send pictures of your penis to girls chances are they show their friends even if they say they don’t. And usually we laugh. So be careful with your camera and your “tickle pickle” (the thought is quite disturbing).