I don't HAVE too... I choose too.

So lately in this (not so single) Single Girl’s life there has been a lot of debate about morals. People with them, without them and I think it boils down to this. If you don’t want someone to do “insert said thing here” then don’t “insert said thing here” to anyone else.  Treat other’s the way you wish to be treated. The golden rule basically...

This question arose, since my boyfriend is in the military and has been recalled. I do not know when I will see him or talk to him again. A friend asked me “Why do you have to wait for him to come back?” I said I don’t have too I want too. I take relationships seriously when I’m in one. His reply “It’s not like you’re married.” And I responded that just because he’s gone doesn’t make me single. That would be like every time he went to the store I suddenly became single because we weren’t together at the time. And then he said something that really troubled me. “Single girl, it’s not like he’d ever know if you went out. He’s gone has no contact with anyone…” That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I had not considered it. What a horrible idea, what a horrible thing to say or suggest that I would do.

I am not the cheating type. I have never cheated on anyone, not a single kiss with another person while being in a relationship. To me I find it morally wrong. I have been cheated on and it’s terrible, as a girl I found myself wondering why I hadn’t been “good enough” , what did she have that I didn’t?  I have also been the girl who was asked to be “someone special on the side” and I declined. I do not condone this type of behavior and think that if you’re willing to cheat you’re obviously NOT happy and should just leave. Get out, move on. Don’t string people along and pretend to care and hurt others in the process. Step up and get out of a relationship that apparently isn’t worthy of devotion.  Give the speech if you have too, the classic “it’s not you it’s me” but don’t just avoid and maintain some horrible ongoing lie with a person who obviously cares for you. (Side note: Once a cheater always a cheater... if they did it to them they will eventually do it to you!)

“Don’t you get lonely?” Sure I get lonely. When this happens I talk to my friends and go shopping, watch movies, hang out, do things that don’t involve having to have sex with someone. And at night I curl up and hug up to my pillows and try my best to have pleasant dreams and not worry too much about the “whatifs”.

After a very long rant with my friend he then said “Well how do you know he’s not out there cheating on you?” One, I highly doubt he would. Two, I highly doubt he has the time. And three, even if he was cheating, me cheating in response doesn’t make it ok or right for either one of us. There is no justification for it.

So, I don’t HAVE to do anything. I choose to wait until he comes back.  I choose to sit and wonder if he’s alright and choose to think about him. I choose not to go out with other guys. I choose him, it’s as plain and simple and as complex as that. You may not understand, you may think that I’m crazy. But it’s my choice to wait around.

  I choose to be an UnSingle Single girl.