Nipple Rubbing S-O-B!!!!!!!!

I know we all have our own ‘thing’ that’s gets us off. These “things” we enjoy may or may not fall far from the typical sexually stimulating preferences other people have. I have experienced a few of the people who typically fall further away from the norm than I would like to admit but one tops the charts of weird in my book.

It’s no secret straight men love nipples and boobs. So you’re probably thinking that any nipple rubbing son of a bitch can’t be that far off the charts? Well how about their own nipples? Does that make it weirder? When a man enjoys having his own nipples rubbed on? Well friends, I can still top that….

I dated/tolerated/was tormented by this guy for a few months. And I’m not claiming I’m innocent or completely perfect in any given relationship but in this one I was nearing Saint Hood! We all know my love for the asshole jerk and that he was right down to the tip of his tiny penis. We’ll call him Nips.

Now, Nips sad to say often had a hard time… well… getting hard. This of course became my fault because he was a jerk but reality was that he wasn’t psychologically sound enough to have any kind of intimacy or fuck fest with anyone, except of course himself. One night after an extremely long time of me trying to help him and him being a complete wet noodle he says to me “Back off, I’ll do it myself my own way….” (And yes I’m stressing ‘my own way’)

Which by this point every part of my body was tired of rubbing touching and hunching. I gladly welcomed his attempt, thinking that I too know exactly what to do for myself to reach that point, and this will make the process quicker. Everyone knows what they like and sometimes more often than not you’re able to get it done almost immediately. (If you do not I suggest you figure it out because one day you might need to help someone help you)

So I lay there in my bed next to him and I look over and he’s caressing his nipple ever so softly while swirling his penis in a circle… He licks his finger and continues to rub on his nipple and as weird as this may sound it was actually working. Thinking this is a sign for me to join in I go back to trying to assist and he says to me “Don’t touch me… fuck now I have to start all over again… You can’t touch me when I’m doing this. I have to concentrate and focus on the stimulation.”

 Now I had never had a problem with any other guy being completely turned on by me lending a helping hand or touching them so this had me dumbfounded. I rolled back over and he again started the same process of nipple rubbing, finger licking, more nipple rubbing and penis swirling in a circle. So, I lay there awkwardly for what seems like an hour and he says “It’s working… get ready” to which I’m annoyed and think “Yeah? Ready for what…” he stops nipple rubbing and immediately loses it. Hello limp dick. 

I lay there completely unimpressed by this situation and hope that eventually he will give up and I’ll just go without sex for the night. And he continues. I have never in all my life been completely ignored while naked and yet it was happening. He was completely engrossed in himself especially his nipple and only the right one. Maybe because he was right handed so that hand had to do the penis swirl while the left became the obvious choice for the right nipple easier to lick and reach I suppose….

I tried to not let this affect my self esteem because obviously he REALLY wanted to have sex with me or he would not have put so much weird effort into it while I laid there seemingly invisible. I became only a bystander in my own bedroom happenings.  At this point I’m wondering why I’m even there and why I continue to watch what I have now decided is a sick ritual of self gratification. His chubby but not man boob hairy nipple was receiving more attention in my own bed. How dare it take my place… and why am I jealous of a fucking nipple?

I may have been able to ignore this whole night had it not become a habit and ritual nightly. HIS inability to maintain an erection without rubbing on his own nipple was a bit of a downer… and the fact that I could not touch or be a part of this seemed odd.  And like I have stated before when in a relationship I prefer to have sex nightly… so this was a problem I was dealing with sometimes more than twice a day.

He was persistent that I could have no part in the ritual. So finally one night before we were going to bed, knowing what was about to happen I look at him and say “I’m going to watch this movie you go on and get started I’ll be there when it’s over… we both have plenty of time.”

Needless to say… we didn’t last much longer. So here’s to Nips, may he enjoy himself and focus on the stimulation night after night alone because he obviously doesn’t need any help in that area!

“It’s true what they say, if you want something done right… Do it yourself!”