I don’t know why but when I’m on a horrible date I can’t bring myself to end them. I just let them play out knowing it can’t and won’t get any better than it is at any given horrible moment during the beginning. I’ve even gone so far to have the friend call during the date in case I needed a backup plan to escape and never gone through with it. I suppose I figure I got myself into the mess I might as well finish the dinner that I’m probably going to have to pay for and see what happens.
One of the more recent bad dates I experienced was “meeting for drinks” that turned out to be a four hour event. I don’t sit well for any amount of time let alone four hours on a bar stool. So during this time I began giving him dating tips, by tips I mean things he could do or use to be better with girls. How can anyone not get the hint if I’m trying to help him get other girls? But regardless of inability to recognize the obvious I decided to make him a project. I was going to help him understand girls better. After all this drink had been long gone for an hour now so I knew I had some time to kill.
Dating tip number one: girls prefer face to face conversations where men prefer side by side conversations. If you’re meeting for the first time girls suck it up and sit at the bar you’ll learn more about the guy side by side (it’s less intense, less on the spot pressure). Guys please don’t ignore the girl sitting next to you and stare forward the whole time. We do like be noticed. When you start making more eye contact side by side you’re probably doing well on the date.
Tip number two: Play close attention to body language. If a girl is leaning towards a guy or has her body positioned at an angle towards him she’s into him. If the opposite is happening she’ll be looking elsewhere for her next date. Our bodies are pro-sex whether we are or not, our minds set up the ability to have sex whether you’re going to or not by key signs. You may not notice that you’re doing these things but watch couples at restaurants or bars; you’ll see what I mean. You can tell who’s making it and who’s just not cutting it.
Tip number three: I do not want to hear about your ex and why you think you’re single… chances are you will put these ideas into my head if I haven’t figured them out already. Be real and in the moment. The first time someone meets you is what lasts, be upfront but charming. Do not dwell on your past mistakes because you’ll end up making this another one.
Tip four: Confidence is key. Don’t be cocky, but be awesome. Sell yourself. Make me want to be with you!
And my final tip: For every time you talk to a girl (or a guy) there’s a fifty fifty chance that they will say “yes”. Don’t be afraid to strike out. Ask as many people, talk to as many people as you can. Be a social creature and get out there!
With that I slammed the last drink down and said to him, “By the way that girl at the table with her friends has been watching you. Why don’t you go talk to her and see if you hit it off. She’s cute and I bet my advice will help.” And I walked away feeling slightly bitchy and yet proud of the fact that I helped him. As I was driving home a good 45 minute drive, a half an hour into it I get a text from said bad date which reads:
“Thank you so much for the advice. It worked. I’m going to dinner with her now. And she’s already put her number in my phone. Oh, if I have any questions can I call you for help?”
As I pat myself on the back I realize I took another single man off the market but yet I’m still single… This happens a lot. I need to rethink my dating style.
“You win some, you lose some. Single guys 1,678,567,890,345,678 - This single girl 0”
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