In honor of a picture recently posted on What the Random about eating out I must share my personal opinion about this sexual act. (Everyone reading this due to facebook should “LIKE” their page.) I know many women and girls will disagree with me on this one. I know many men who will be disappointed in this one but here it goes…I don’t enjoy anyone going down on me for more than a few minutes. I understand the concept and I get that some people really enjoy both having it done and doing it but I feel it’s a waste of time. Get it over with and let’s get into the good stuff! It’s just a step onto better things in my opinion. It’s foreplay that shouldn’t last the majority of our romp in the sheets. Get down there do what you have to do and get out so we can move on. And if it’s a little dry down there, sorry you’re not doing it for me but just get it over with. Do what needs to be done so we can move on to having sex. But I will be honest there are far better ways to turn me on than that.
Guys are constantly telling me how much they enjoy this and how they’d rather be doing that then having sex sometimes but I’m not impressed. When a guy tells me that I usually think he’s a liar or bragging but still not impressed. What guy doesn’t want his penis in a vagina but wants his tongue in one? I don’t see how that’s better?!?!?! It’s not that I’ve never enjoyed a session of mouth to bottom lips action because I have. At one time I actually preferred it over sex. But once I actually had good sex it doesn’t even compare. So when a man brags about how much he enjoys “going down” or “eating out” I simply wonder if maybe he’s just not good enough to get me off any other way. Is your penis not doing the trick? Is your tongue longer than your penis? I know the tongue is more flexible and a strong muscle but come on guys…
My girl friends thing I’m crazy. They think that a nice make out session below the belt creates a far better orgasm than having sex. And apparently there’s nothing they hate more than a guy who refuses to go down to the “V” zone. So let me be fair and give you some tips I’ve researched to help you out. For the girls who love it and the guys who aren’t good at it but like to do it, or the guys who won’t do it. This may help everyone involved. But just because I’m giving you this information does not mean I want you to use it or try it on me.
1. Prep her for what’s to come. You can start by kissing her all over her body. Begin by kissing her deeply in the lips. Move down to her neck and then to her nipples. After this, slowly move down to the stomach. As you near her vagina, skip it and go directly to the legs. Build excitement to the point until she is literally begging for it.
2. Test the waters. With your tongue, check her vagina for wetness. If you have been doing your work right, the vagina should already be moist. Lick around the labia and in the inner labia. They should be creaming at this point. If this is the case, proceed to the next step. If not, go back to step 1.
3. Write the alphabet with your tongue. The next step involves a lot of tongue dexterity. Once she is wet, spread out the lips of her vagina to expose the inside. This is the time you write with your tongue. Start by learning your ABCs. Once you have gone through the alphabet, go to your numbers.
4. Give her a great finale. This is where you really rock her world. Slowly insert your finger. Check for signs that she is digging it. Try to look for her G-spot. The G-spot will give her an experience she will never forget. While you manipulate her G-spot, find her clitoris. It should be button at the top of the inner labia. Lick it at a constant rhythm. Move your tongue faster and faster until she starts moaning and wailing. Her but should be gyrating at this point. Lick the clitoris faster while playing with her G-spot. The vagina should tighten up until it suddenly just goes lax. At this point, I congratulate you. You just gave her a finale she won’t forget.
**Please note that I did not mention my stance on giving oral sex. This is simply my opinion on getting it.
“The tragedy is when you've got sex in the head instead of down where it belongs.”
~D.H. Lawrence
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