I live a double standard. I go out on one date with a guy. If I don't like him he likes me and automatically thinks that he owns me and that no other person in the world should look at me. (Insert manly chest thump, a club hitting my head and being pulled by my hair back to a cave). I can not tolerate that type of behavior. Yes, I want a guy who wants to claim me as "his own" but after one date?!?!?
The reason my lady friends, that I lead a double standard is because after one date with a guy that I actually like I get all ruffled up over the idea that he could possibly be with someone else. The not knowing where he is and what he's doing and why he only text me once kills me. And as much as I want to club him over the head and drag him back to my cave I know that I can't. I know that one date does not make him mine anymore than one date makes me belong to the caveman.
The difference here is that I know I can't be crazy. Guy's love crazy in bed. They love crazy in taking chances. They do not love crazy as in psycho stalker. I know these limitations and I follow them accordingly. But guy's must not. Those guys that fall madly in love on the first date must not realize that I am totally and completely creeped out by the fact that he has picked out our children's names by mid-dinner. That the fact that he stares down another man for glancing my direction and gets mad at someone for talking to me is not acceptable behavior.
So why is it that I feel like I need to mark my territory? Why do I have that urge to claim what I feel SHOULD be mine immediately? Is it human nature or greed? Am I annoying like the guy's that try to claim me?
I know what you're thinking ladies... it's different when we do it. But it's not. If there isn't a label, if there isn't a title of what you and this man are... well then there are no strings attached. You are playing the game. You are part of the game whether you like it or not. So suck it up and play fair. If he texts you right away text back. If he waits you wait. Never make yourself too available to anyone. It makes you look desperate and needy and trust me (not only do I not want that for you) but NO guy wants that from you!
"All's fair in love and war... but love takes more mind control"
The behavior is the same but a woman's motives are altogether different. Men do it because either they are innately jealous and possessive or they're otherwise damaged. No man with an unscathed record will be planning your his and hers vanity plates while you're dislodging a popcorn shell that has spot welded itself to the back of your tongue during the latest chick flick. Women do it because not only do we have the waning memories of these "perfect" men to deal with, we have to deal with every hair-twirling D-cup who would give him the time of day. We know how men are and what we women are capable of. The difference is we WANT to find one person. Men, not so much. I think it seems creepier with men (and don't get me wrong, it is creepy) because it goes against their natural instinct. At least for men our age, which are the ones we want to date, it's all about the arm candy and an aversion to commitment of any kind. They can't even commit to a box of cereal without experiencing that twinge of anxiety. I agree with you though. I never make myself too available to anyone. You want me, you know how to find me. Make it happen.
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