I'm in love...

I'm in love with the idea of love but only with certain people. There are people I talk to randomly but consistently enough that make me still get that butterfly feeling, knots in my throat, want to beg you stay feeling. But I never do. If they've moved on then so should I... But why do I still get the feeling in my stomach that makes me sick... that feeling that swells up like a knot in my throat just waiting for me to swallow and let the tears come pouring out.
I AM NOT A CRIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But every time I see these few people's pictures, pass them in a car or speak with them I get that feeling. That feeling of why didn't you want me? What did I do? What's wrong with me? And I know that my family and friends would obviously tell me nothing. That I'm wonderful just the way I am. But I can't help but wonder... Not everything can be everyone elses fault. And please don't give me the "you're too good for them speech" because it only makes me feel worse. If I'm too good for them why am I not with them? Smartest thing in the entire movie "Clueless". People want to be with people one step above their level. Or at least on their level. Guys especially go for the higher levels... so if I'm so great then they should all want me right? In theory that sounds great but we all know it isn't true.
I would like to take all my ex's and put them on an island. Its not that I want them to suffer or hurt. I just want them to completely disappear from my life. Which is hard considering I live in a small town and everyone is friends with everyone on facebook. No matter who I talk too there's six degrees or less separation from my ex's and me. Why do ex's still have that power over me? Is it that I want what I can't have? Do I simply want them because they don't want me?
I have an example of one of my ex's and the idea of him repulses me. I thought I was madly in love with him but now that he actually wants me back I have no interest. So, do I like the other guys more or does knowing I don't stand a chance with them really get under my skin? I love them, I love them every time I see their pictures every time I hold a casual conversation with them, I get giddy and all over again I'm mind fucked.  I get all antsy with pleasure and expect things to go right for once... but because it's an ex, it never does.
The only reasonable explanation for this... I'm fucked.

"There's a reason why they're ex's..."
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."