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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Get off his balls and get a life!

I have a friend (though we dated a couple of times I have no horror stories about him other than the fact that even though I passed his “test” he didn’t want me), my friend tells me that he always tests women. Which to a point I understand I test men as well. You want to know who is worthy of your time and who isn’t. We all perform little tests to see how far we can push your buttons or how far you’ll willing to go in order to make me happy; however, my friend and his ‘man plan’ goes a whole different route. He has a \ test which I’m sure many men also have, and rightfully so I will agree. So ladies…. Here’s your heads up! Pay attention… this gets ugly.
So the test goes as follows (and I pray he doesn’t hate me for sharing but I feel you have the right to know) that if you have sex with him on the first date you are automatically not girlfriend material. You are just a booty call and not worthy of a relationship. Once again I would like to point out that I did pass this test.  If you’re willing to give it up so easy, where’s the chase, the thrill of the hunt and where is the challenge?  Also… where is your self respect lady? Get it back out dust it off and continue reading.  
Girls/women need to have more self respect and then maybe more guys would treat us with respect. You all know by now that I completely adore having sex. But I’m not about to just give it up because some gorgeous guy with blue eyes gave me “that” look. (And yes he’s gorgeous and gave me that look and I still passed it up.) It’s not happening, I’m not about to have some one night stand with you and then you never speak to me again or only speak to me when you want some. I treat men I don’t like the same way we have bad dates. This is different I didn’t mind fuck them or fuck them I just chose not to go any further down that path. I will however, make out sure why not, that’s so high school I realize but so overlooked now a days.  Who doesn’t enjoy a good make out session but I’m not going to just give in to your sexual ravaging just because you’re hot. Call it morals call it personal values I call it, self respect.
I also believe that men want to feel needed they just don’t want you to be needy. There’s a difference. Independence is great, I don’t think you should rely on anyone let alone a man to support you.  You should have goals and ambitions just don’t overdo it to where he feels he’s at the bottom of your list or that you never really ‘need’ him. My friend vouched for that one. Let men be men, let them believe that you need them without having to be hanging on their balls twenty four seven. Allow them to wear the pants but don’t dumb yourself down or give into them just because they’re hot. Attraction and sex only goes so far… you need more to hold on to what you really want.
So what do you do? You find a happy medium. You find a balance between whore and saint and another balance between damsel in distress and overly ambitious, independence. Don’t give it up right away and don’t expect him to solve all your problems.  He can’t and he won’t and then you’ve lost him and his respect for you. And you should have lost some for yourself.
It’s completely confusing and I find it hard to think that men need to be needed but who doesn’t like the idea of someone needing them? And once again there is a huge difference between being “needy” and just needing someone. I like my independence and that scares a lot of guys but when someone, that I actually enjoy their company comes along I also let them know I appreciate them. I let them know that they are worthy of my time and they are in fact good times waiting to happen. And that occasionally I’ll need them. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Get off the balls ladies, strike some independence and quit whoring yourself out on the first date. Honestly a lot of guys quit taking you seriously when you’re such an easy target. Be strong hold out and just enjoy some heavy make out sessions until there’s something real there… something worth holding onto and something worth needing.
“Turn offs: obsessed, crazy and needy whores.” But that doesn’t mean they won’t have sex with you… it just means you’re not girlfriend material. Just because men will fuck you doesn’t mean he will love you and vice versa. Keep that in mind on your next dating adventure.
“You give love a bad name…”

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