"Hurt me once shame on you hurt me twice shame on me."
We all know the quote very well and yet no one seems to be listening to it or understanding it so let me explain this to you and make it a little more clear. Let me spell it out for you because obviously it isn't good enough 'as is'! You can never go back once you've been hurt because it will always come back up in a relationship fight and its your fault for allowing it to happen. So stop kidding yourselves!
If you were with someone in a romantic relationship and it did NOT work out, then it will NOT work out the second time or any other time you continue to try. Ex's are ex's for a reason! There's a reason why you two didn't make it. You're just lonely if you keep going back... because if they're not good enough to keep and you have to break up with them, then you're just looking for a companion to hold you over until you find someone better. In which case it is wrong on everyones part. If you keep allowing someone in and out of your life only to always end up hurting you well then you're only being stupid and I feel nothing but pity for you. Why be with someone who isn't dedicated to making you happy? Why go back to someone who's taken your trust, heart and whatever else you gave them and broke it into a million pieces? Why risk that again on the same person who obviously had no problem doing it once... we're creatures of habit. It will happen again!
I understand forgiveness and I understand mistakes. However, that doesn't mean that you forgive and jump back into a relationship with them that night. Only to continue this vicious break up cycle over and over again. It will not work. If you can't stay together for six months, hell a month or two, without breaking up chances are that is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. We are not in high school anymore! We are actually supposed to have mature relationships. Let me repeat "Supposed to have mature relationships"
I will never understand someone who allows a person who cheat on them (the lowest of the low) to come back to them. That is not a mistake. Mistakes don't fall into bed with someone else if they love you, a mistake is much smaller than that. A mistake I forgot it was our 4 and a half month anniversary (gag) or I forgot I was supposed to pick up bread on the way home. But not I forgot I was in a relationship and accidentally managed to find my way into another person's bed, But I'm sorry? No!
I don't know about men. But ladies this is where you stop and realize you cannot change the man. You cannot fix this man. He is what he is and nothing you can do is going to make him any better. Because he is the only one who can change but if he knows you're always giving him a hall pass or a get out of jail free card why should he change? You're giving him the best of both worlds.
Do not be fooled... some people are broken and damaged and nothing you can do not all the love in the world can't fix them.
So stop taking them back and laying in bed crying over them every night and get out and do something for yourself. If they really wanted to be with you they would have never 'messed up' in the first place. You get one chance at life and I think you should get once chance at relationships too. Either make it work or let it go. But none of this back and forth love him and hate him bullshit. Because you're only hurting yourself...
"I think that you should let it burn..." Usher
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