I'm a she-man woman hater! That's right girl I just called you out with a smile!

I’m trying to think of the nicest way possible to say this…. I hate women. I am at most times ashamed of our gender. We as a whole (and I will include myself in this statement) can be so judgmental, bitchy and competitive.  It’s completely annoying. I have no idea how lesbians and straight men put up with us. Our rants and hate for one another, the way we turn against each other and immediately hate any other woman we meet.  Oh, sure we’ll smile and introduce ourselves but what is really going through our heads?

We’re first sizing each other up. Look wise of course; because every other woman in this world is competition for the man that you want or could want or could have.  So, you give them the one over. Not in that sexy way, not at all, but in that disgust for all females’ way… a glare and stare down.  Their hair, makeup, smile, height, weight, clothes, shoes and even purse have now become part of this terrible ritual.  After the size up then you compare. Is she taller than me, skinnier than me, bigger boobs than me, better hair than me, better style than me? All these comparisons and yet you still smile. You still treat her as if you’ll be friends for life and longer, and you know she’s doing the same thing why? Because women are evil. We are in constant battle with each other and ourselves. We’re insecure and take it out on each other.

So once you’ve gained  enough visual information from her you want and will get all the dirt you possibly can on her so you can convince others she’s just as evil as you think she is. Ladies you know how easy it is to get your female friends to hop on board for some female bashing. We live to hate each other.  This new woman that you’ve met five minutes ago has now become your mortal enemy because she’s new competition. You don’t know the way she works so you must hate her before she has a chance to steal your man wreck your home and be better at anything you can do.   So the gossip begins and before you know it this new girl has become a man stealing home wrecking whore who’s probably had a nose job and has crooked teeth and you swear she has a hairy mole. You take each and every word she said, twist it to make it suit your “evil theory” and run with it.  You looked for the worst in her and you found it why? Because that’s what women do! We tear each other apart for our own insecurities.

So how do we end up with friends who are in fact female? We studied them as well compared ourselves to them but and detected no threat. This can take weeks to be sure. But all the while you smile and maintain a friendly composure each secretly still looking for a fatal flaw, just one false move, one wrong word, so that way we can tear you down, bit but evil bit.  Once you’ve obtained female friends you then like a pack of rabid beasts feed off the new girls that stray into your territory. How dare they think they can walk into your space, look in your general direction and ask you where the rest room is… who do they think they are? Let gossip and woman hating commence.

We’re completely stupid. Men don’t do this to each other (at least not what I gather from my guy friends). So why do we? Evil pure and utter evil, from within us. We are so worried that some other girl is better looking; better than us in some way that we can’t trust them and immediately judge them.  And I do this too. I immediately like to pummel the new girl. But in reality nine times out of ten she isn’t that bad… but this judgment could take weeks before the friend panel comes back with a verdict:  is she a threat or not?

I will be the first to admit that I do not have many girl friends. This is why and on top of that you can’t trust them!  Gossip galore, if I wanted the world to know what I told you in confidence then I’d blog about it or put it on facebook.  I don’t need your mouth running through the town telling everyone my business I confided in you with.  Guys make much better friends.  They’re sarcastic and loyal and don’t care about petty shit and gossip. They tell you straight up how it is, no bull shit just fact. No sugar coating or fake smiles. They don’t care about your shoes and your makeup or what purse you’re carrying and they sure don’t want to hear your bitching. You don’t have to compete with them or decide whether or not they’re friend worthy men are who they are from the start.  Men make better friends definitely. 

“The more women I meet the more I love being one of the guys…”