Perfectly Imperfect!

There’s an art to dating. A certain game we all play and sometimes don’t you just get tired of the game? You play and play and eventually it gets old. In the beginning we try to keep our flaws undercover. The annoying habits we have, the things we do that others can’t stand and those body imperfection you see in yourself. But eventually they surface and by that time you’ve noticed your partner’s flaws as well. So you both then try your best to ignore those flaws about the each other because you hope they will:

1.    Go away

2.    Stop annoying you

3.    You can change them

Since we all know by now we can’t change people and they are who they are for better or worse. I propose a radical idea. The next time you begin dating someone, come clean with your flaws. Don’t over whelm them or give all your dirty secrets all at once because some things are better left unsaid on the first date. But be more open during those first few weeks of “butterflies” so that if they fade away you’re still in love with the person you met and not hating the real person that was hidden so long.

It’s almost as if we create this “perfect” person when we start dating. The “perfect” you the “perfect” me. But in reality those seemingly perfect selves can only hold out so long before REAL you and REAL me come back.  So why not just be ourselves? That’s scary. To show someone who we really are without being guarded like Fort Knox.  To allow someone “in” and really let them get to know us? The thought alone is astonishing.

We all have a fear of rejection; it’s not only possible but highly probable that there will be people who don’t like the REAL you. Chances are not everyone will appreciate you or your honesty. But who wants to be loved for someone they’re not? Hate me for what I am before loving me for something I am not!

If we first judged others by their flaws then we would be realistic about whether we were truly interested and worthy of each other’s time. For example if I wore a sign on the front of me that listed the majority of my flaws, people would either accept me for me those flaws and all or look them over and move on. I would know who really cared, respected and wanted me around. I would know that someone could see beyond the imperfections that make us who we are and see there can be something amazing within. As for those who passed me up and walked on by judging me by my flaws alone I would wear a sign on my back that listed the good qualities in me. The people that will miss out on the good I have to offer the world because they judged me by my flaws alone.

Will this ever happen? Absolutely not, we’re taught to be ashamed of our imperfections and hide them from the world. But when you first meet someone you can never be as real as you are in that moment. Choose to be real. Choose to be who you are because months from now you’ll have to explain where the “perfect” you went…

“Do not strive for perfection it does not exist. Your imperfections give you character. Character sometimes makes you the underdog and the outcast. But those underdogs are the ones that can save the world from monotony.”